Whispers of a Throne Read online

  I reached out to touch her arm. I'd not cause her pain, or loss of employment. "Why would that happen?"

  Her breath came out like a laugh. Then she smiled and reached behind my back to lead me in the room. "Because that's a lady's slip. An underdress. Let's get you in a proper gown."

  I followed her, not sure what to say. She opened the other door I had meant to explore, but tiredness last night had stopped me. It opened to a smaller room that held a chest of jewelry. I rubbed my chin. This room had plenty of useful storage and must be where my personal chest was.

  Nel shook out a heavy blue garment and turned around. I fixed my hair behind my ear. The deep blue gown had silver trim and the pattern near the bodice had feathers that formed triangles. It was beautiful. I caressed the soft, heavy fabric. "Whose is this?"

  Nel tugged the dress open and expected me to help her. I raised my hands and stepped inside the fabric. "It was Lady Morgana's..."

  I froze. "Why are you borrowing from her?"

  She tightened the bodice and lowered the dress. "We didn't know your size to prepare clothes for you. It's temporary."

  I crossed my arms and stepped back, to get out of the dress. "I don't want anything of hers."

  Nel held still, but she narrowed her gaze. "Until we have a tailor here to properly fit you into lady's clothes, this will have to do, if you wish to go outside, my lady."

  Something about Morgana bothered me. No. I rubbed my arms against a chill. "Where is my dress?"

  Nel lowered her eyes and her face turned red. "Morgana let the dogs take it."

  My entire body flashed with heat. The dress wasn't much, but it belonged to me. Morgana had no right. "It's ruined?"

  Nel kept her gaze down. "I'm afraid so, my lady."

  I stared at her until she looked back at me. I tried a smile, not wanting to blame Nel. Morgana had the power here. "Then wrap me in this thing. I have to go see Thor."

  Nel straighten the garment and tugged the bodice closer as she continued, "He's preparing to leave."

  She tugged at my waist and adjusted the material there to make it harder to breathe. This extra effort made me remember what my mother had done to make us pretty. I never thought anyone would do that for me again. My eyes misted, but I didn't have time for emotion. "Then we better hurry."

  Nel added an amulet around my neck and fixed it in the center of my chest. "With time, I promise you'll like it here."

  I stared at the amulet. It had a lion's head surrounded with blue as the design. It was more like Rex Caesar's emblem. I swallowed. "Where did this come from?"

  Nel didn't pause as she answered, "Your chest, my lady."

  My lips wouldn't close as I stared at her. She had gone through my things and found this? It didn't make any sense. "My chest?"

  Nel bobbed her head. "The one with your belongings. I thought you'd like to wear something of your mother's."

  I clutched the amulet in my hands. I had never seen this before. My mother kept her things locked in a chest in her room, but I had never once seen this. It was delicate, much like her. I swallowed. "My mother? How would you know that?"

  Nel placed the comb down and pointed to the closet. "It was on the note."

  I jumped to my feet. If this was my mother's then there was part of her life she never told me. Father had said she was a lady's maid, like Nel. As Nel wore no jewelry, and had worked in the market, I highly doubted she wore fine things. "What note? Where is it?"

  I rushed to the closet and threw open the door. I knelt toward my chest, with Nel right behind me as she said, "No. In the small drawer with the gold jewelry."

  I grabbed the slip of paper on the top of the chest and jumped to my feet. My heart constricted in my chest as I read:

  Dear Gwen,

  This was your mother's from when she was to be crowned. The story was that whoever owned this necklace

  My gaze flew to Nel's. There was more. I swallowed like that might stop the million thoughts that raced in my mind. "It's ripped. Where is the rest?"

  She scratched her head and again I noticed she wore no jewelry. Then she curtsied. "I don't know, my lady. It was like that when I found it."

  Nothing made sense. I stared at the note. Mother had said many times she'd been a lady's maid. She'd never said she'd been about to be the queen. The stories about the last queen had her killed. My mother had been alive long past the stories. My body quivered. "My mother was to be crowned?"

  Nel placed her hand on my arm. I let out a sigh as I grew warmer. She looked at the note and asked, "Do you recognize this handwriting?"

  My skin still tingled, and my mind went numb. "Yes, this is my father's."

  Nel petted my arm. "He was a nice man to me. Perhaps you can ask King Thor if he knows about your mother?"

  My father had gone to Thor. He must have mentioned Mother. Thor might not speak to me though as I'd not been kind. I bit my lower lip. "It's a good idea."

  Nel pointed toward a mirror. "Look at yourself. You are ready to go."

  I stared at the mirror on the wall and it wasn't me that stared back. I was the image of my mother from my childhood memories.

  My eyes are brown and hers had been green, and my hair is brown to her gorgeous blonde locks, but in this soft dress which begged to be touched, I appeared delicate, like she had been.

  I rubbed my arms to ensure that the slight poof of my sleeve still had that density that felt like cotton all piled together with the softer material of my nightgown to create something elegant.

  The purple gown with silver trim matched the nightgown and went all the way to my feet though it was much warmer. I stepped into slippers and took a deep breath.

  It was time to confront Thor. I had to know about my mother before he left for battle.

  Chapter 7

  I stormed through the fortress and made it to the courtyard, but once there I had no idea where to go. Women gathered near a fountain, but there was no sight of Thor training with his men.

  There had to be something beyond the rose garden. Two of the women stopped talking and followed me away from the garden. I placed my hand on my forehead to block the sun so I might see.

  A yelp of a defeated in a sport sounded to my right. Another woman stared at me as she walked away from the fountain. The sound must have been the men. Women giggled.

  I ignored them as I continued to march towards the sound. Then more women joined, and it was all sorts of finely dressed people. Some women had scarves on their head. Others had curls in their hair. The ones that giggled were all in fancy dresses like I wore or dressed all in white. I sped up and fidgeted with my puffy sleeves. As I rounded the corner the crowd behind me grew louder. I had no idea what they wanted.

  As I turned the corner toward where I heard the sound more men shouted. Some were in a yard as they held swords high and rushed to attack. Men were knocked down to the ground. My chin trembled, but then my gaze locked on Thor's blue eyes as he helped his friend Merlin stand. Then Thor's gaze met mine and he froze.

  His face could be that of an avenging angel. I crossed my arms and reminded myself looks don't matter on the outside. His muscular torso in that torn white shirt he wore had been molded to perfection. At least he wasn't like the other half of the men who wore no shirts. I might have burned right into the ground for staring.

  His men stopped their sword play. Thor left the field and handed his sword to Chaus. The images on his neck had changed. Drawn and not permanent, the symbols must have meaning, but I had no idea what. I glanced behind me at the watching crowd. I wondered what they wanted because no one ever followed me with this intense interest.

  Thor placed his hand on my shoulder, drawing me to him. I stepped out of his arms, shook my head, and straightened my back. "I want to go home."

  I sounded so stupid. I don't know why those words came out of my mouth. I had nowhere to go. I had so much to say. I squared my shoulders, though he was over a foot taller than me, probably more, I wasn't intimidated. Thor smell
ed a bit like the forest and reminded me of home. He settled his stance and wiped the sweat from his brow with his forearm. "I hope in time that you accept this place as your new home. I promised your father I'd keep you safe."

  I tugged my ear and tried to sound calm. I ignored the butterflies in my stomach that seeing him caused. "Did my father say anything about my mother to you when he came to see you?"

  His blue eyes didn't waver. "No."

  Father had to have said. He had told Thor he thought I would be queen. "Are you sure?"

  He shrugged. The clink of swords in the field grew louder as he said, "Honestly, I didn't believe that you would test as queen. I never heard of your father. I thought I was promising a broken man safety for his daughter."

  Thor must practice at always being so kind. I stood taller. I refused to bend to his charm. "How did he say I would test the way I did?"

  I needed details.

  A few of his men glanced at us. Thor crossed his arms and kept his voice low. "He said you were related in distance to Caesar Rex, but that you had been raised to stay away from the war and Rex."

  “Related?” A bark of laughter escaped my throat. Father hadn't been truthful. I held my head higher. "My father did not believe in war. When he read of your betrayal of Rex because of your blood test, he told me to stay away from all royalty, including you."

  I was only six at the time, but I remembered my father's opinions like he just said them to me yesterday.

  "I was a boy and people were being killed." His jaw clenched like I'd shocked him. His army of men came closer and he held his head high. "I was trying to save myself and as many people as I could."

  Accusing a king was not my intention. My face heated. I threw my hands to my sides and bowed. "Isn't it?"

  Thor stared above my head and toward his men. "I never gave Rex my word to serve him."

  "You were in his service as a page."

  I shouldn't have said that. Thor's nearness sent my pulse racing so fast. No man had ever done this to me. Now I’d insulted him and continued to so in front of his army and the crowd that seemed to watch my every breath.

  He thrust his chest out so I saw all his muscles under that metal he always seem to wear. "I was born to lead people to freedom."

  A bird chirped overhead, but all ears were on them. My blood pressure increased near him. I lowered my voice to a whisper as I said so only he could hear me, "Justifications to lies. Thor, I don't want to stay here."

  "Why?" He took a deep breath as he analyzed me. "What happened?"

  I gave him my profile. I preferred to shield my thoughts from his study, though I knew he couldn't read my mind. No one ever understood me. I swallowed. "Your sister fed my dress to your dogs."

  He tilted his head. "Morgana?"

  Thor didn't seem surprised, though if she was my sister, I'd know her faults. My sister Jax had always said my temper would get the better of me. I didn't trust either of the royals.

  "I will talk to my half-sister."

  Men's swords began to clang against each other. I glanced around and saw less people listened to us now. I could breathe easier. Morgana hadn't mentioned the half part. She had acted like they were full-blood related. I guessed that didn't matter. I straightened my stance. It would be up to me to shove a nightstand in front of my door. "That's not what I want. I don't want to be here."

  He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Gwen, you must know that if you leave, Rex will find you."

  The heat in my body grew, and I felt like I was about to explode. "You don't know that."

  He bit the bottom of his lip as he stared hard at me. "I do. You will not be left in peace."

  I rolled my eyes. He'd not scare me. Soon, I'd find my way right out of here and go find my own rock to hide under. Anything was better than how my skin ached for his touch the closer I stood to him. I could disappear. Thor made me look like a queen. I stuck out now, but soon, I'd disappear into a crowd and make my way into the forest. "Not if you're in my life."

  He massaged the side of his neck. "Gwen, what is it that you desire?"

  Kings shouldn't need to be drawn a map to the obvious. Perhaps Thor's rebellion was doomed because he didn't see what was in front of him. "To be left in peace."

  He crossed his arms and lowered his head as if considering his words. I could learn that trick from him. Then he said, "I am leaving for a battle. I won't be here to bother you, and Rex and his army will be engaged with my troops."

  No. Now was not a good time. "What happens to me if you die out there?"

  His lips quipped. "I won't. I'll come home."

  Not a good answer. "So you expect me to sit and wait here for Morgana to do something else?"

  He jerked his thumb toward the knights now suited up for a new practice. "Did you want to pick up a sword and join the fight?"

  It would be better than being a pawn. At least I was getting under his skin. If I annoyed him, perhaps he'd let me go, not that this was ever my primary plan. I'd prefer to be offered the way out because I asked. I sighed, lowered my voice and untucked my pendant. "Do you recognize this amulet my mother left me?"

  He came closer and his fingers on my neck sent a thrill through me. He studied my necklace. "It's Rex's symbol. Your father must have been right that you're a distant relation. Perhaps he didn't tell you." He too grew serious again. "I promised your father I'd look after you."

  He won at being the calm one because I'd never be able to lie and seem peaceful about everything. His smell of the woods affected me, and my fingers ached to touch him. I never touched anyone. It would be easier if he cared about me. "You promised my father you'd marry me."

  “Yes, if you had the Queen gene.” He nodded his head. "And I promised you, I'd give you time."

  Neither one of those promises could be kept. There had to be a breaking point, and I needed to find out what happened once we hit it. I wish I knew how to stop that need, but it doesn't matter. My voice rose as I demanded, "I don't need time. I need freedom."

  His blue eyes stared at the others that surrounded them. I turned and saw the amazed faces of people I must have shocked. My stomach clenched. His sister had joined the crowd. I closed my eyes, like that would make her go away. Thor lowered his voice so only I could hear him. "I don't know what to say to you."

  I ducked my head and turned my back on everyone else. Then I crossed my arms and stared at the wall. "That I have your permission to leave the castle and go anywhere I want."

  He placed his hand on my back and we walked further down the wall. I checked behind us and saw no one dared follow us. We walked a few yards. He coughed and then stepped in front of me. I held my breath as he said, "With a guard, you can go anywhere you like within the city walls, Gwen. Beyond that, you're a primary target and you wouldn't be safe."

  "What?" I stomped my foot. I was out of control. I knew better. I held my breath, but then I shouted. "I can take care of myself. I know how to watch my own back. I don't need more eyes on me all the time."

  "Don't think of it like that!"

  My jaw clenched as my hands shook. My lips parted as I stared at him. I didn't know what to do. "Don't think I'll be here when you return."

  "Gwen, please be reasonable."

  He sounded reasonable and calm. My muscles twitched as I held back my explosive temper. He hadn't fed my clothes to the dogs. To stop myself I stepped away, but then I gazed into his clear, blue eyes and discovered another emotion. I swallowed. He could keep his sympathy for someone who might care. "I came to talk to you," I said, my throat thick. "I wasn't before, but I'm tying to reasonable now."

  "Reason and you aren't words I'd put together." He was right. I was out of control. I shouldn't have embarrassed him. He reached out and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Do you know what Rex will do if he gets you?"

  I shrugged out of his gentle grasp, refusing to cower in front of Thor. He had the power to do anything he wanted. I couldn't stop him. I knew that. Again how he smelled of home hit
me hard. I pressed harder to get away from his mass of muscles. No man had a right to touch me. "He'll force me to marry him, just like you."

  Thor dropped his hands to his side and stepped back. I saw the confusion as he frowned. "Not like me. Never like me."

  I smiled at my bittersweet victory. I’d found a way to annoy Thor, but it didn't feel good. Even I didn't think Thor anywhere in the category as Rex whom I couldn't even think about right now. I glared at Thor and my words were like ice. "Lie to yourself then. I do not care."

  His stance widened, but stayed a foot back. Someone must have warned him that tall men scare girls, but that was not me. He would never get to me. "Gwen, he'll ensure you are pregnant with his child. Once you produce a future king, he'll murder you."

  I covered my belly as my lips parted. I was told to stay away from kings, but if Thor was calm, perhaps Rex was too. "You don't know that."

  "Why did your mother run from his family?"

  This was all he had to say? My mother told me to marry for love, and stay away from men who would be kings. I blew a piece of my hair out of my face. Perhaps my mother hadn't said that, but she would have if I had asked her. "Mother wanted neither your father nor Rex's."

  His skin twitched near his eye. I don't know why I said that. My heart beat twice as fast as I waited for his answer. Then he said, "My father married my mother who many considered to be a goddess."

  I covered my face. This was too much. I shook my head. "No one is immortal, Thor."

  He dropped his hands to his sides and offered me a smile. I was light-headed as he said, "Very true. Either way I'm sure our parents never met."

  I came closer to speak privately, but the smell of the forest grew stronger the closer I stepped toward him. "I don't know what's wrong with me near you."

  "You've had a trying few days." Thor motioned for Chaus and his sword. Excalibur clearly mattered more than me and this conversation. "I have to go. I will keep my word to your father and to you. Chaus will serve as your guard for now. Good-bye."