Whispers of a Throne Read online

  He half-smiled. "My mother's grave then. I give you my most solemn vow."

  I held out my hand and shook his. "We have struck our bargain."

  His arms wrapped around me. My insides quivered and I rocked in place. I grew colder but closed my eyes. The slight scent of vanilla and lavender invaded my lips and snuck to my nose which would cause me to sneeze. I pressed my lips together. The moment his lips touched mine, time stopped.

  In my mind I tried to picture Thor, but Thor's mouth had been strong and demanding. Delott's lips were softer and his tongue traced my lips and was yucky wet.

  I had to get to Thor soon. I hated the scent of vanilla.

  Chapter 22

  I kept my arms at my sides and refused to move. I'd not hold him too me, but if I pushed him away then he might say I called off the deal.

  I didn't trust him. Then I flinched and ended the kiss. I frowned and stared into his brown eyes. Delott's lips were softer and his kiss was so different than Thor's. I covered my lips and rubbed my chin as I swallowed. Thor was all hard and demanding even if he held himself back, which I knew he did. I shook my head and realized Delott tried to be tender. I shouldn't know this about him.

  I stared at the ground and squared my shoulders. "Let's head to the castle then."

  He placed his hand on my back like he hadn't just shattered what I knew about everything as he asked, "Wasn't your home close to where we are?"

  "As you seem to know." Friends don't demand kisses and change everything. I curled my nose and turned my head back toward Avalon. "I don't want to go there."

  He stopped in front of me, forcing me to turn my head. "Why not?"

  My chest tightened. The air today was hot and humid. "Everyone is dead."

  He bowed like he cared. I wasn't stupid enough to fall for his tricks. "Do you want to pay your respects?" he asked. "I'd give you a few minutes."

  "No." I huffed out my answer and crossed my arms, then changed my mind. Perhaps I should go. Thor said he'd take care of things, but I never checked. There hadn't been time. My arms fell back to my sides and I shook my head. "I will though. I miss my family."

  I started toward home. We were less than a hundred feet away from the hidden camp, though the way my body shook it could be miles. A huge part of me didn't want to go. The image of my father with arrows protruding from his chest burned in my memory. I rubbed my forehead and continued. Thor said he ensured everyone had been buried. I had to believe him.

  Delott walked with his arms behind him. "Any sisters? Ones just like you would be nice to meet."

  I closed my eyes so he'd not see how my eyes misted. "I had them. Jax and Cyna died."

  "Then," he said, his voice lowered. "I will pick flowers to put on their graves."

  My family deserved more than flowers. They should be alive. "Fine. I will take you. This way."

  The clearing still hid our house. Thor's men must have released the trees to keep our fort a secret that no one could see as they passed. Delott had no idea we were already here.

  The memory of Father guarding the gates with his bow was so vivid that my heart surged as we passed the back entrance. I raised my hand onto one of the trees that covered our house and could almost hear my sister Cyna's laughter as Father showed her how to hide the camp. Pain shot through me as I opened the secret door and let us in.

  Delott elbowed me. "Your father was ingenious with the trees as cover."

  I held open the door. "He was." The frown on my face felt permanent, though it was strange. My face was stoic and dry. I should cry, but the tears won't come. My stomach churned. "My father was the smartest man I ever met."

  Delott's eyes widened. "Smarter than your Thor?"

  I rolled mine. Jealousy was stupid. "Father was older."

  Delott winked. "I've met dumb old people."

  My face burned less and my eyes felt drier. He was being nice and trying to make me laugh. I lifted my chin. "Don't be rude."

  As we walked into the courtyard I remembered my father's body lying on the ground. I couldn't speak as my throat felt raw.

  Delott whistled and I looked toward him as he asked, "What was it you loved most about your father?"

  I pushed my hair out of my face. My father had ended up dead because of me and he had made a choice I now agreed with. I had been so angry. My body felt numb as I answered. "That no matter what it cost him, he always did the right thing. He went out of his way to help everyone."

  Delott opened a door for me and let me pass as he said, "That's amazing."

  He sounded sincere. I swallowed back my almost-tears and blinked. "What about your father?"

  He shrugged. "I never knew him."

  Knights typically had dads who taught them how to fight, though I suppose with the right blood test a mentor could be found. "What? How?"

  Delott tilted his head like he shared a major secret with me. "Mother said he died, but I don't think he stayed with her more than a few nights. I never really had a home or anyone to take care of me."

  I studied his schooled emotions, but his eyes portrayed how much pain he was in. The rest of his face was clenched and hard. "That's horrible that you didn't have a father, but at least you had your mother."

  He reached for my hand as I crossed into the living room, away from the entryway. I had to remember Delott would never truly be my friend. He followed behind me.

  "When I was thirteen and tested to be a knight, my life changed. I found out how that happened too. My mother had sold herself to more than one knight. Any one of the men in Rex's army might have been my father." I flinched but he continued, "So how did a girl from the forest find out she's connected to the throne?"

  "I don't know." I refused to clutch my amulet. He'd know in an instant I had a clue, and my mother's memory mattered. "Stay here for a minute."

  My room was down the hall. I spent hours there crying for my sisters and mother. I needed one last look at my old things. I motioned for him to stay in the living room or kitchen areas.

  I stopped in the library first, my lungs hollow as I walked in and picked up a part history book, part legend book called Reclaiming Our Fate. Father had loved this room with the large wooden shelves that held hundreds of books. I held his favorite book in my hands. I'd bring this back with me.

  Without more, I walked out and slammed the door. I shouldn't have done that. I cringed, but no one yelled at me. Everything was so quiet here, though I can hear my father reminding me to be gentle. It was like whispers of ghosts.

  In my room I stared at my tiny bed. Cyna and Jax had the bunk beds in the corner that I'd covered with boxes after they died. I swallowed and stared at the yellow sheets that had once been my only comfort. I looked at my pillows. Mother used to sing me to sleep and pet my hair if I had a nightmare. This was all gone now. I backed into the door. I shouldn't be here. I pressed my lips together and ran out of the room, the book in my hands.

  I fled the house and didn't look back until I made it to the courtyard. Outside I clutched my stomach as Delott raced next to me. I heaved in air and hoped I wouldn't be sick. This feeling had to go away. My face reddened the moment his hand touched my back. I spun away from him. "Why did you help Morgana? She did everything she could to ensure I wasn't a threat to her from the moment we met. What did Rex promise when you all agreed to kidnap me instead?"

  "Morgana was miserable and Rex fully intended to rape her until she produced an heir and then kill her. This is also why I don't want to bring you to him either." Delott again walked beside me like he was my friend. "Rex promised me a place in his army. I'd like to prove my battle prowess, but it shouldn't be because of a woman."

  I didn't want to walk beside Delott and I didn't want to think for one moment he had a noble streak inside him. I'd start believing him and he'd betray me again.

  I walked to the center of the courtyard where markers were placed in the ground. I fell to my knees as I found my father's name. I had been so hateful. I couldn't be that way again. I need
ed to think in heaven he approved of me.

  My father's headstone was the biggest one. I should have known. Thor had done that. I lay down for a moment with the dirt and my hands brushed against the headstone. I should have begged him to come with us.

  I beat my dirty hands to my chest. Mother should be buried with him, but she was at the river with my sisters. Father and I buried their remains near that pottery shed of hers as they were so burned it was better to bury them where we found them. Father was all alone in the ground.

  I sat and stared at the headstone. Thor couldn't have known. I hadn't told him. If I asked him, perhaps he'd find men to fix this. My family should be together.

  I wiped the dirt from my face. I couldn't cry now. Not with Delott and not here. I solemnly brushed my knees as I stood and turned away. This place was dead. We wasted too much time already. I walked toward the exit. "Thank you for bringing me here. I can never go backwards in time."

  He bumped into me as I pushed through the trees that hid our house. He followed right behind me and his shoulder brushed mine until I cleared the area. "Your kiss was worth it."

  I curled my nose. Thor's golden hair shined in my memory as I waited for Delott to make it through the hatch. "You learned how to flirt, I give you that."

  With a big goofy smile he said, "It's not a skill. I hoped to keep you happy as we went to such a sad place."

  We were now on the field where Father sent me to Thor. The last thing I said to him burned in my mind. Tears formed in my eyes. I inhaled so I'd not let myself go. I hunched my shoulders and kept moving. "Thank you. Please give me a few minutes."

  Hate was the wrong word. The words burned in my mind now. Father had been nothing but amazing. Father deserved better than me for a daughter. I see that now. I never tried to listen to him. From now on, I'd have to make him proud.

  I walked around the fort and through the trees. The trees were so thick that I couldn't see the blackened remains of my house. It was all gone. This was all over now.

  I rubbed my neck. Thor had buried everyone and left my home in a way it wouldn't be discovered. My family traveled in my heart.

  The amulet brushed against my breasts, but I refused to say anything to Delott. My mother was still with me.

  I turned on my heels and marched toward the field and our horses.

  Delott followed me. I had no time for being sad. I had to get back to Thor. It was time to set things right.

  I climbed onto the horse I'd been tied to as Delott ran toward me with flowers in his hand. He must be trying to make me feel something, other than the emptiness that grew inside. He dropped them as he saw I refused to stop. I galloped as fast as I could back to Avalon. To Thor.

  There was no time to waste.

  Chapter 23

  As we galloped, I glanced at the hills that would lead us to Avalon. My shoulders grew lighter, though I stayed tense and alert.

  Then as we passed the hill, I saw the towers of Avalon in front of the black charred ruins of Camelot. My heart thumped faster. This was it. I couldn't wait to get back to Thor.

  Unlike Delott, Thor's strength was his calmness and how he was trustworthy and honorable. He was everything that was right in a man, and I'd give him my heart if he wished it.

  I ignored Delott, who rode at my side. Thor. Every cell in my skin was alive as we rounded the final bend.

  I tugged on the reigns, forcing my horse to stop. Blue banners with the black lion flew lower in the sky. Inside the castle Thor's gold and red emblem with the eagle remained. My heart almost froze. Unwanted soldiers and knights in square shaped formation surrounded the white walls. Rex's banners with the same emblem on my mother's amulet rose high in the air. My heart seemed to fall into my stomach. I was too late to help from the inside of the castle.

  I had hoped the train’s destruction would have slowed down an attack.

  My fingers trembled as I scanned Rex's army.

  Avalon was surrounded. I looked for Sir Wain or any sign that a huge army was inside Avalon. Nothing out here indicated that Thor's army had arrived last night to help him, but my heart hoped that they had. The last thing he needed was to protect everyone with his skeleton crew.

  I rubbed my chin. His plan had to work, and would no doubt take all of his attention. I'd find a way to get inside and prove to him that I had not run away. My gut churned. He had to believe me.

  I closed my eyes as the weight of this situation hit me. Part of me wanted to run away. The word coward spun in my head. If I ran, I would never be free and this moment would haunt me forever. I squared my shoulders, opened my eyes, and sighed as Delott rode closer. He stated the obvious and pointed at the blue banners. "Rex."

  Perhaps he knew how to get back into Avalon? He was a knight and he'd promised his sword to me. I held my head higher and asked, "What do you think we should do?"

  His gaze narrowed on the army that surrounded the white walls of the town. His profile was hard and guarded, but then he squared his shoulders. Hope surged in me until he shrugged. "Wait and see who wins."

  Dastardly mouse. It was exactly what I would be if I didn't do something. I held the reins of my horse higher and lifted my chin. "I can't do that!"

  He circled in front of me and put his hand on the hilt of his sword. "Why not? You don't know how to fight, you can barely hold a crossbow. Thor is outnumbered."

  True, but I couldn't run and hide and let people die if there was a way for me to stop it. Besides I had to ensure Thor knew I never left him. Then Nel and the woman who sold shoes and that boy I saw with his family all flashed in my mind. I should be with Thor and ensuring everyone was safe. I shivered as I said, "I have to help him."

  Delott's gaze narrowed. I tried to stay still like he didn't make me jumpy. He kept one hand on his sword, and reached out with the other to caress my cheek. I winced. He continued despite my reaction. "Why do you have to help him? It's not like he will ever appreciate you the way I do."

  Appreciation meant respect. If Delott had one ounce of truth in that statement, then I'd have had dinner with Thor and not be stuck in the hills. I pushed his hand off me. "You don't understand. Maybe you can't. Either way I'm going. You can stay here if you wish."

  I urged the horse back into a gallop. There had to be something I could do. I counted and Rex had with him perhaps five hundred men for the siege, half of them on horseback. The other half were foot soldiers. Another hundred boys must be present for supplies. It wasn't a huge army. Nel must be worried, and I had to tell her and everyone. This force around Avalon could not have been Rex' entire army.

  Thor had a chance, though Rex's numbers were one third more than his.

  None of the tents outside had any identifying marks. Rex's would be somehow bigger.

  If I could make it to the wall, then perhaps Thor or one his knights might see. Once inside, I could tell him how many men I seen. Rex's men had no idea what I looked like, so I might get by. My gaze swept the area. I had to see everything and remember.

  The amulet around my neck felt heavier as I studied the banners one more time.

  Pounding hooves sounded and I held the reigns harder in case Delott tried to stop me. Instead he came beside me. "I promised to protect you."

  I had no choice right now where Delott was concerned. I might need him, so I held my tongue on how I'd never trust him. As we raced through the thin stand of trees, I knew we'd be spotted soon. It was my wrecked red dress. I held the reins and galloped as fast as I could. My only chance was speed and that Thor saw me before Rex. "Then figure out how to get us into the castle without being seen."

  He drew his sword. "That might be impossible."

  The moment we cleared the hill, I gazed at the tower and locked my gaze with someone. My heart thundered, hoping it was Thor, but I didn't know for sure. I pressed my lips together and continued on my path. If it was him, he'd see that I hadn't left him.

  Soldiers with blue banners turned toward me. My gut twisted but I tried to continue. So many
metal helmets surrounded me.

  Delott maneuvered his horse to block some of the soldiers.

  My gaze returned to the tower and goose bumps grew on my arms. He'd see me with Delott and believe I ran off.

  I jerked my horse's reigns away from him, but then soldiers surrounded me and grabbed at my dress. I couldn't gallop anymore. I was trapped.

  The thunder of my heart beat told me I had made a stupid reckless mistake as I was torn down from my horse. I bit my tongue and refused to scream.

  Again Delott stepped in front of me, like he might protect me. I stood behind him and no one touched me. I backed into his horse and wished I could erase time. We'd be in the woods still.

  Delott nodded his head and didn't say a word. I kept quiet. If I turned around, people would follow. My horse neighed, but I held his reigns next to me to stay where we were. Inside my entire body quivered. "What should we do?"

  He didn't turn around. "You ran like a crazy person. There is nothing I can do."

  Never trust the man who kidnapped me. My fingers trembled. I knew better. My voice shook. "What? Are you going to betray me?"

  "There is nothing I can do now." His tone was harsh as one of the soldiers came closer to us. "Your red dress gave us away."

  My dress shouldn't be the issue. I straightened my shoulders as he held the sword between me and the soldier. My skull pressed into my horse and I wished I could climb on to run away. "I thought I was going to get engaged but you kidnapped me instead."

  A knight with a blue cape pointed with his gauntlet and Delott lowered his sword. "This way."

  Of course the soldiers recognized one of their own. Delott nodded his head like a good trained soldier. I winced, realizing there was no escape. The chill in my bones went deep into my belly, but I followed Delott and the knight. I'd have to find my way into Avalon or make enough of a spectacle that Thor saw me. I held myself steady. "Where are we going?"

  "I've no idea." Delott said.

  Yeah right. He'd been hired to find me. His lies were yet another reason to ditch him as soon as I could. If I figured my way out, he could stay here with Rex and explain my absence. My only hope was Thor, so I kept my gaze on the white walls and wished he could see me.