Crying Shame: Virgin Cove Trillionaires (Single Brothers Book 5) Read online

  Crying Shame

  Victoria Pinder

  Contents

  Series Information

  Join Victoria Pinder

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Also by Victoria Pinder

  About the Author

  Series Information

  Virgin Cove Trillionaire Single Brothers

  The One that Got Away

  No Regrets

  Never Again

  Eat Your Heart Out

  Crying Shame

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  Prologue

  Elon

  Orlando was hot. It was a sticky heat that did nothing to dampen the excitement of the children visiting the city's theme parks. Their overtired parents acted like drill sergeants at the airport, the hotels, and the parks.

  I couldn’t find Clarissa anywhere. So I called in a favor with one of Pedar’s business associates, and by the late afternoon, I had her home address from her personnel file. I let the limo driver take me there, as I was too tense to drive.

  Eight years ago, I’d been a sophomore in college. Clarissa had been a freshman. For a month, we’d secretly dated, and I’d never let myself relax around her. I’d imagined I’d ruined my life, and my desire to make Pedar and Maman proud of me was so screwed up that I’d destroyed the best thing I’d ever had.

  At Clarissa's apartment complex, I went to the second landing and knocked. No one answered. She had every right to punch me in the face for what I’d said when I'd broken up with her. Honestly, I’d been an asshole. The words haunted me more as I got older. For some odd reason, for years now the more patients I saw pregnant and going through pain, the more I thought of her. Until I’d told her we were a bad idea, she’d been the only woman in my life who mattered. Only later had I realized the only person to blame for my loneliness was me.

  Unlike me, Clarissa had been smart and funny—she deserved far more than I’d offered her. When I started the mission to find her to apologize, I’d hoped she would be happily married, living out her dream.

  Her run-down apartment, built probably sixty years before, made me pause before knocking a second time. I’d found out she worked on her feet every day, and my tension burned at the knowledge.

  When she didn’t answer my second knock, a neighbor, a woman in her twenties with dark circles under her eyes, yawned as she stepped outside and regarded me curiously.

  “Do you know where Clarissa Brown is?” I asked.

  She shrugged then gave me a side-eye. “She’s not here anymore.”

  I kept my distance in order not to upset her. “What do you mean she’s not here?”

  She tilted her head. “Clarissa quit her job and moved out of her apartment yesterday.”

  Adrenaline rushed through me. I knew from the private investigator that Clarissa had been working at one of the theme parks. I had no idea if she had been tipped off that I was looking for her, but moving out seemed extreme. I narrowed my gaze. “You’re sure?”

  She yawned again. “You can ask the front desk manager.”

  I went back to the first floor and approached a woman sitting at the computer by the front desk. “I’m here looking for Clarissa Brown in apartment 203.”

  She stood and gazed at the expensive cut of my shirt and pants. “She left without taking her belongings. Is there anything I can do for you?”

  My ears buzzed. She’d run from me. My gut twisted. “What?” I asked as I realized she’d said something else.

  She sighed. “Clarissa said she’d been found and needed to disappear, but she didn’t mention she’d found herself a Christian Grey.”

  My blood ran cold. I’d not read the book, but I ignored her comment. “If I pay to move her things out of the apartment, can I go inside?”

  She tilted her head, sat down, and leaned back in her seat. “How do I know you’re on the level?”

  I took out my credit card. “I’ll pay the next month’s rent right now if you need.”

  A man from a side office called out to her, “Swipe his card and give him the key.”

  She nodded and typed on her computer. “Here you go, sir.”

  I took the key, and as I walked back to Clarissa's apartment, every step echoed in my ears.

  I’d finished college, medical school, residency, and started my own firm that was going nationwide. And instead of enjoying my life, I’d been afraid to lose everything, which was all just in my head. Pedar and Maman were always supportive and it wasn’t just the money to do whatever I wanted.

  I unlocked Clarissa’s door and saw the cheap furniture. I’d thought she would be better off without me. Standing there, I felt like a stalker. I pivoted to leave but saw a photo on the floor of the kitchen. Clarissa, fully grown and recognizable with her red hair, clapped as a young boy stood at a birthday cake. I inched closer and picked it up off the floor. “Who’s this boy?” I asked aloud. In answer, my heart whispered the truth.

  She’d never told me. I’d been so stupid that day I'd broken up with her. It now seemed undeniable that I’d impregnated her and broken her heart. My soul shattered into a thousand pieces. Twenty-year-old me had handled that grown-up situation all wrong. I must have been the reason she’d dropped out of college—I’d left her to raise a child on her own.

  I didn’t deserve any of the blessings that I possessed. I grabbed my phone to call one of my brothers. Jeff was a lawyer, so hopefully, he would give me options.

  On the second ring, he answered, and after hellos, he asked, “Did you talk to Gerard?”

  My always-stressed and suddenly happy little brother. I pressed my fingers to my temple and sat at the kitchen table. “No, what’s going on?”

  “Ali said yes. So next year, we need to plan on going to Paris for the wedding.”

  Gerard, Warren, Joel, Cyrus, and Arman were all content because they’d found the perfect women. I’d had mine and shoved her out of my life. “Maman must be so happy.”

  “She wants to talk to you.”

  I stood. Sitting on Clarissa’s furniture felt wrong. I massaged my skull as though that might calm me down. “I’ll call her soon. Jeff, what kind of sample besides saliva do you need to run a paternity test?”

  “Paternity? You’re a doctor, so you know,” he said.

  I grabbed a dish in the sink and headed to the bathroom and the boy’s room. “Look, Clarissa has an eight-year-old,” I said as I collected hairbrushes and combs and returned to the kitchen to find empty soda cans.

  “And you think it’s yours?”

  “I was an asshole when I was twenty. I need to make this right, for everyone.”

  Since then, I’d strived to be the perfect role model for my family. My son had a trillion-dollar inheritance, and Clarissa never needed to work ever again to afford her life by sweating in a costume in the hot sun.

  I would fix everything. Maybe then I could sleep at night.

  Jeff said, “That’s why she doesn’t come home… Maman and Pedar are going to be disappointed in you.”

  They didn’t deserve to be hurt, but neither did Clarissa. I closed my eyes and wished I could go back in time and shake some sense into myself. “I… when I was twenty, I was so afraid of turning into my biological parents and doing the wrong thing that I took it out on Clarissa. I need your help, Jeff.”

  “Always. That’s what family does.”

  One day, maybe I could return the favors I owed him and all my brothers. All I knew right then was that I might be a good doctor, but clearly, I sucked at being a human being.

  After I disconnected the call, I grabbed a plastic bag from Clarissa's pantry and put my collection of items inside. I’d come to apologize, but I realized I needed to do more, starting with putting a million dollars in her bank account.

  Hopefully, Clarissa would accept my apology for
pushing her away and understand I hadn't done it because of her but because I was afraid of ever falling in love. She was the best woman I’d ever met.

  1

  Elon

  A few weeks later

  I still hadn’t found Clarissa, so I was home waiting for a call or text or email. Yet in Virgin Cove, life was one party after another. Granted, tonight's party wouldn't be the Great Gatsby type filled with random people. It was a family gathering that would feel like a party as most of the guests were related in our large, richer-than-most-people-can-ever-imagine world.

  My parents were at the center. They were the only parents I remember and wanted to remember. However, before coming to them, I remembered feeling dirty, hating the color green, and screaming.

  So I’d done everything to prove to Maman and Pedar that I was worthy of being adopted. I owned a chain of women’s health centers with plans to go national soon, though finding doctors who were also entrepreneurial was harder than it seemed.

  Not that I had worked much since finding out I had a son. I was pretty useless right now.

  The cake was brought out for Pedar’s birthday, and I headed through the crowd and hugged him tight. I was frazzled and unshaven compared to my father, who was impeccably styled in his black leisure suit.

  He was the rock of our wealth, and Maman was the heart. I’d be no one without them. I backed up, realizing the rest of my brothers wanted a moment to congratulate him.

  My brother Kir came over to me. We looked different and thought differently, but I knew he and everyone in my family were on my side. He’d just made a sound investment that earned the family ten times more than it usually made in a day. So the second he came over, I whispered, “Congratulations.”

  He patted me on the back. “How was Orlando?”

  My entire body stilled. I swallowed and only said, “Enlightening in some ways.”

  “That’s cryptic.”

  Probably was.

  No one in my family except Jeff knew the truth.

  Clarissa was gone. I should have followed through years ago on apologizing for my horrible behavior.

  The look on her face when I'd told her "we’re done" and the way she'd lost all color had haunted me. I relived that moment over and over whenever I met with a patient who had relationship issues.

  Maybe that should have been a sign that she’d had my son and not told me.

  After eight years, I’d just found out about the boy yesterday and had flown back home as I had no leads on where Clarissa was now.

  Pedar spoke about the meaning of having sons and stepped forward. Though I was across the crowded room, I felt his gaze on me.

  Clarissa and my son, whose name I didn’t even know, deserved to have everything I could offer.

  I clapped Kir on the back and said, “Let's not talk about me. How are the markets?”

  He shrugged. “Always going. I bought a new home in Pacific Palisades.”

  He owned more real estate than anyone else in the family.

  A waitress brought us both champagne and left. I sipped and asked, “Are you moving into this house?”

  He shrugged. “I like to have places where I can be completely on my own.”

  I laughed. None of us were ever alone. “Except for staff.”

  Clarissa’s parents were part of my parents' staff. Both were in uniform as her mother was head housekeeper and her father drove mine around.

  Neither of them had heard or spoken to their only daughter in years. As Arman was giving a speech to honor our father, I followed Mrs. Brown, who was directing the staff, and waved to get her attention. She came over to me. “May I help you, sir?”

  “Do you know where your daughter, Clarissa, is?" I asked even though I already knew the answer. "I need to find her.”

  “She will never bother your family ever again and knows she is not welcome with either her father or myself. Have a good evening, sir.” She curtsied.

  My shoulders were heavy. I was the reason for Clarissa's family problems, but her mother's coldness caught me off guard. She disappeared, and I walked back to the party. As Arman finished his speech, I widened my stance to stay focused.

  Kir came to stand beside me. “I’m unsure how Pedar ran everything without ever taking a break.”

  “He had a wife and twelve sons to support.”

  Kir shrugged and finished the champagne in his flute. “Children are probably worth it. However, finding a woman to have them is difficult.”

  I put my still-full glass to the side as drinking wasn’t something that interested me tonight.

  My head was still processing what I’d learned about Clarissa. So I said to my brother, “You can have anyone.”

  “So can you. It’s about quality.”

  Clarissa filled that description. At twenty, I’d not seen that as clearly as I did now.

  “True,” I said, and my phone beeped to signal I had a text. The investigator I'd hired to find Clarissa asked that I call him. I tapped my brother on the shoulder. “Look, I have to go.”

  He nodded.

  I turned to leave but ran right into Maman, whose hair was up in a loose bun with some dark hair having escaped and hanging in curls along the sides of her face. She smiled up at me. “You’re leaving early, son?”

  “Maman, I’ll explain soon.” I kissed her cheeks.

  If either of my parents knew what I’d done, they’d be disappointed in me. I understood why better than the college kid I’d been would have, but I wasn't ready to tell them the details yet. I needed to find Clarissa first.

  She didn’t move at all. “You’ve been very mysterious in your search for Clarissa with me.”

  My phone beeped again. I squeezed her arm gently. “Maman, I promise I’ll explain everything later, but I need to go—now.”

  She took my hand. “Well, if you find her, please tell her to call her parents as well. They are worried about her.”

  “I will.” My reply came out fast. I wouldn't disappoint Maman by telling her not everyone had a heart as big as hers. I slipped out of the party.

  The beach house in Virgin Cove was large enough for the entire family and also not far from Manhattan whenever the business-minded among us needed to head to work.

  I left the house and headed for the beach, where the smell of salt air filled my lungs. I called the investigator, listening to what he had to say as I walked. My heart leapt. She was back in Florida.

  I’d take the private jet, so I could get there as quickly as possible. I turned back, heading toward the helipad. “She’s back in her apartment. You’re sure?”

  The PI said, “I’ll forward you the pictures I took an hour ago.”

  “Thanks,” I said and then called the pilot. I headed down the driveway to the far end of the house, hopped on a golf cart and drove myself to the helicopter that would take me to my jet. I needed to get to Clarissa, and thankfully, we were in the air in five minutes.

  It didn't matter why Clarissa had returned to her apartment. I was just happy she had. I was also glad I hadn't yet paid someone to move her belongings to storage.

  This wouldn't just be an apology anymore. I’d offer to support her and my son and tell her I'd changed. I also needed to discover my son’s name.

  Hopefully, she'd accept my offer.

  On the flight, I again remembered how her face had looked when I'd broken up with her. No wonder every pregnant woman who came to my practice in tears over a relationship reminded me of her.

  She must have known she was pregnant, and I’d fucked that moment up entirely.